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How to Protect Yourself Against Inflation

The average American worker gained 2.5% in wage increases during the first quarter of 2018, according to several people who ought to know better than to shoot off their big mouths while sitting on the bus next to me. And they didn’t smell all that great, either.

But despite this positive economic sign of continuing recovery, the bugaboo of inflation continues to haunt American wage earners — since currently inflation is pegged at just over 3 percent per year; which eats up all the wage gains. Some may simply shrug their shoulders in despair and cry in their Starbucks, but it’s our belief that your average American Joe and Jill is made of sterner stuff and can be helped to reverse the effects of inflation with a wise and prudent budget strategy.

Start hoarding plastic bags

Communities may be banning the use of plastic bags right now, but just you wait fifty years and see how much a prime collection of them is going to be worth. They’re free right now, so dedicate one complete room in your home to plastic bags. In half a century you’ll be glad you did — you can sell ’em, rent ’em out, put ’em on display and charge admission.

Go off the grid

Live in a box. Really commit to dumpster diving. Take up an interesting hobby, like panhandling. And when it comes to lice and bedbugs — go green!

Move to Uruguay

Life is much simpler and inexpensive in Uruguay. You can get by with just a serape, a pair of straw sandals, and a burro. In fact, if you don’t care for dung fires in your hovel you can do without the burro!